Lucas Kukiseso

Lucas Kukisesois a former association football player. He was a midfielder on the Zwangzug national football team in World Cup cycles World Cup 80 and 82-World Cup 84. Domestically, he played for Spenson Suburbia. He was the captain of the World Cup 84 and IAC 9 team, and one of the Galacticos XI in the post-IFCF 1 cycle. Kukiseso is a member of the World Cup Hall of Fame.

Kukiseso learned Algebraic English as his native dialect (like most Zwangzugians, he would default to Descriptive in international conversations), as well as the language isolate Duodesi from his grandmother. Known for his intelligent play, he was named a regular starter when the "third generation" team formed for World Cup 80. In the final minutes of a 4-0 defeat to HUElavia near the midpoint of the qualifiers, he was concussed and gave fans as well as his captain a scare. He came to, however, with no visible signs of injury other than foreign accent syndrome; he dropped his Rs in the "northeastern" style associated with Arlington and Zwischen, and even slurred his consonants like a native Picksall Islander. (The team actually had one of those, reserve goalkeeper Kim Higden, who appreciated having someone to "natively" converse with.) By the end of qualifiers, his fluke condition had gone away on its own.

Kukiseso had a variety of off-field interests, from modding video games to better demonstrate the ability of equine footballers to quoting the poetry of Isaac, Prince Imperial of the Holy Empire. During World Cup 83, broadcaster Jaina McHammel mentioned him as a likely candidate to succeed Martin Scallop as captain. Despite the criticism she faced from booth partner Emmylou Brighton, this proved to be prescient on McHammel's part, as Kukiseso took up the armband for World Cup 84. His leadership took the form of cautiously worrying whether Zwangzug's Jewish residents ought to observe Hanukkah as a major festival and/or invite their counterparts of other or no faiths to join them, much to the annoyance of teammates who were less concerned about cultural appropriation.

As his international career wound down, he was honored as one of the Galacticos XI by KarlingSport in recognition of his multifaceted talents during cycle 75. He scored nine goals in his tenure on the national team. He continued playing for Spenson, and was named to the Galacticos long list in cycle 76.

During Eagles Cup 9, Kukiseso applied to be the manager of the Græntfjall national football team, a position which was eventually filled by Kang Guilin. At the beginning of World Cup 87, he was formally inducted into the player Hall of Fame in recognition of his unorthodox, but always stalwart, leadership of Spenson and the national team.