Zwangzug national football team

The Zwangzug national football team represents Zwangzug in international competitions, most frequently the World Cup and its associated competitions.

The team has competed in several distinct eras; the "first generation" team competed from World Cup 33 to World Cup 42, winning Cup of Harmony 25 and finishing second in WC42. The "second generation" competed from World Cup 64 through World Cup 69 before the country ceased to exist. They sporadically contested the Eagles Cup, winning the sixth edition of that tournament, and then a "third generation" team participated in World Cup 80, then World Cup 82 to the present.

History
lots

Zwangzug have always worn white kits with black stripes at home, and black kits with white stripes away, the more similar the better, though will grudgingly make allowances to distinguish themselves from their opponents if necessary.

The first generation team played its home games at Wayr Stadium in the Rackham Range, after first establishing an even higher and more remote training camp. Upon reconstitution, the new team did the same for World Cups 64 and 65. Beginning with World Cup 66, the association established the tradition of playing qualifying matches at different fields throughout the country, and this has been continued to the present.

World Cup
Zwangzug qualified to the World Cup via playoffs in World Cups 36, 67, 69, and 87; they lost in playoffs in World Cup 68.

Other tournaments
Due to the unique nature of the World Cup of Dreams, goalscorers were not recorded and it is not considered a statistically-meaningful tournament in Zwangzug records. The B71 tournament is considered statistically meaningful, albeit by and large against nations not of WCC caliber, so their championship is not really something to crow about.

Personnel
A full all-time roster is provided at this subpage.

In the "first generation" era, Zwangzug's football culture was very insular, and their managers, while long-tenured, did not exert a lot of leadership power. The captaincy was, therefore, considered an important role in actually leading and representing the players; part actual power, part symbolic reward for long-timers who deferred to the "established" way of things. Since the second generation, Zwangzug has been able to draw from successful club managers, though they mostly prefer to search within their own borders.

Managers
An early experiment in robotics from the Artificial Intelligence University whose attempts at instilling curfew were not popular with all of the player base. The best guess at the acronym was "bought out by," but either the socialist government and/or idealistic elements on the team successfully prevented corporate sponsorship. A Bigtopian immigrant who occasionally struggled to communicate (and frequently referenced his players by uniform number), but also a diligent talent scout. Led the team to qualification on their third attempt, but ill health and a fractious relationship with World Cup Commitee Vice-President Sue Fleischmann overshadowed her later cycles. Built Excelsior Slogda into a contender, where she sparred with Nadine Roark about the latter's ponytail. After a dominant qualifying stage, struggled in playoffs and the CoH, and decided she liked being part of the Slogda machine better. Originally from Earent, where she was the manager of Stirvik TU, who finished second in Champions' Cup 48, and was already known for bizarre and incomprehensible metaphors. Then moved to Sporting Iturributa in Astograth before that league collapsed. Not much more coherent in her third language either, producing quotes such as "Yes, the butt changes" in response to her opposite number's misbehavior against Estope. Namiri Independent manager in season 17. Eintracht Trink manager in the hard-fought season 21, when they finished third on goal difference. Returned there after the national team and won the first Cereal Cup. Slogda manager in season 23, when they rallied to fifth from a thirteenth-place finish the season before. Keen on making substitutions and jiggling her lineup. Manager of Keppal Cosmos when they won the league in season 24. Known for his ponytail (unlike Kratochvil); instituted a (1)-4-6-0 formation due to his perception of a lack of effective strikers. This paid off quickly when Zwangzug qualified; by the middle of the WC84 qualifiers, however, the team had drawn against Tamgu and Castanya, lost to Krytenia, Mattijana, and Ancherion (in the latter case 4-0). Blasting the "cowards at the federation" who "don't have it in them to fire anyone ignomiously," he resigned his position. Interim appointed in Willow's absence. Many cycles prior, a goalkeeper with Arlington City who then moved to Tropicorp FC in Vilita, and longtime member of the Arlington Collective. A de facto interim. Previously led the University of Homler to several finals, and then second place in the IUCC; after the IAC stint, joined Atlantea Hurricanes in Taeshan. Won the league with Bassabook Old Boys in season 29, then came second in the second FFI Liga dos Vencedores. Can be quick to substitute players out after perceived injuries; his critics say he has some double standards and is less willing to let women potentially play through the pain than men. While mostly grounded in reality, known to wax poetic in ye olde fantasy novel prophetic jargon. A combination of poor results and the increasing frustration caused by this phenomenon caused him and the federation to part ways at the halfway point of qualifiers. Originally from the Commonwealth of Baker Park, where she was an assistant to Pam Scott with their national team. Then took over at Trebuchet Cham, leading them to two IFCF qualifications. After a successful stint as the interim, was named permanent manager after World Cup 87.
 * BOB 64: Baptism of Fire 20-World Cup 35
 * Doodlypants Mcgimpy: World Cup 36-World Cup 42
 * Bridget Scroves: World Cup 64-World Cup 67
 * Matilda Kratochvil: World Cup 68-Cup of Harmony 60
 * Reaven Laynee: World Cup 69
 * Mila Apsar: Eagles Cup 6
 * Franklin Motobuchi: Eagles Cup 7
 * Makvala Tsereteli: World Cup 80, World Cup 82/Cup of Harmony 76
 * Tavish Willow: World Cup 83-World Cup 84 mid-qualifiers
 * Enitan Maclaurin: World Cup 84 mid-qualifiers and proper
 * Abigail Chatelenas: IAC 9
 * Brandon Sonnabend: World Cup 85-World Cup 87 mid-qualifiers
 * Kate DiMarini: World Cup 87 mid-qualifiers - present

Captains

 * Rube Tercer: Baptism of Fire 20-World Cup 35
 * Jacob Barons: World Cup 36-World Cup 38
 * Steven Ruck: World Cup 39-World Cup 41
 * Andrew Card: World Cup 42
 * Brett Chrowder: World Cup 64-World Cup 66
 * Martina Ruan: World Cup 67-World Cup 69
 * Eugene Kyp-Sobol: Eagles Cup 6
 * Turan Gul: Eagles Cup 7
 * Kendra Jover: World Cup 80, World Cup 82/Cup of Harmony 76
 * Martin Scallop: World Cup 83
 * Lucas Kukiseso: World Cup 84
 * Chevanthi Arokiaraj: Eagles Cup 8-World Cup 85
 * Joshua Twoni: World Cup 86
 * Jonah McCollins: Eagles Cup 9-World Cup 87
 * Sophie Munshi: Eagles Cup 10-World Cup 88 (qualifiers)
 * Lissa Crain: Cup of Harmony 80-present

Top goalscorers
Because of the first-generation team's eccentricities (little use of substitutions, strict positional demands, long careers due to limited player base), many of their goalscoring statistics are unlikely to be equaled. A "modern era" table (WC64 and onward) is provided separately.

Italicized players are active as of the World Cup 89 cycle.