Kayla Haugen

Kayla Haugen was a midfielder for the Zwangzug national football team in World Cup cycles 88 through 92. She was captain of the team that won the WC92 title, and received the Testículo de Oro award later that cycle. Haugen is a member of the World Cup Hall of Fame.

Haugen made her debut with Trebuchet Cham under the leadership of Kate DiMarini. DiMarini was later appointed as manager of the national team, and called Haugen up for Eagles Cup 10. That tournament was a quiet one for Zwangzug, but the retirement of Edwin Cherenkov-Nguyen let Haugen step into the starting lineup for the World Cup 88 qualifiers. During a qualifying match in Sylestone, she scored her first goal for the national team in dramatic style, a spectactular deflection of an errant Johan Idmar shot in the sixth minute of stoppage time for the only goal of the game.

In season 35 of the 1./, a dynamic midfield including Haugen, Nancy Puyo-Sachar, and Gabriel Lapierre of Kelssek led Cham to the title. She was included on the longlonglist of Testículos nominees during the World Cup 89 cycle.

As a protege of DiMarini's, Haugen was often relied upon to take penalty kicks in situations like the Eagles' Cup; while a creative attacking midfielder, she could be a competent finisher as well. In the World Cup 91 qualifiers, she was named player of the match by the Tumbran press after scoring the only goal of the match in the 23rd minute.

Cham won the title again in season 39, but season 40 would prove anticlimactic, as they plummeted to ninth place, with Puyo-Sachar absent due to her pregnancy. Haugen attempted to keep a straight face during these proceedings; a hat trick against Rovers United on matchday seven, amid an 8-2 beatdown for Cham, was a rare bright spot.

Kausalya Vizirani's retirement from the national team opened the door for Haugen to be named captain in Eagles' Cup 14. In the first game of the World Cup 92 qualifiers, she led by example, breaking a tie against unheralded Civia Welephilostopia in minute 87.

Zwangzug's match in República Guanacasteca took place in Estadio Tiburcio Carías Andino, a stadium notorious for its unfriendliness to visiting teams; visitors are officially advised to pray to their deities if they leave the premises in one piece. As captain, Haugen announced that her religiously diverse teammates had followed this instruction in multitudinous ways. Upon a return to Cham against Flavovespia, she gave the team a lead just 25 seconds into play.

Zwangzug's run in the proper got off to an unassuming start, as the country drew against Kelssek and lost to Nyowani Kitara after a frustrating disallowed penalty. Haugen was unusually prickly with the press, perhaps trying to motivate her teammates; if so, it worked, as they defeated Farfadillis, Haugen scoring Zwangzug's fourth goal in minute 82.

In the quarterfinals against Vilita, she was driven to a frenzy after Zwangzug's failure to contain teenager Jakku’u Naboyavi, and singlehandedly dogged him in extra time. While she missed her penalty kick in the ensuing shootout, Zwangzug nevertheless advanced. Off the field, she was an eloquent voice for the country, expressing both how far they'd come and retaining a connection to previous generations who had paved the way. And in the final against Banija, Haugen's 66th-minute goal proved decisive in a 2-1 victory.

Haugen scored a total of 28 goals in her international career. After retirement, Haugen was honored with the Testículo de Oro award, and inducted into the World Cup Hall of Fame.