Audioslavia national football team

The Audioslavian National Football Team represent the Republic of Audioslavia in all WCC and AOCAF sanctioned international football tournaments. They are twice World Cup champions, three-time AOCAF Cup winners and were victorious in their Baptism of Fire Cup attempt in the tournament before World Cup 59, entering after an 120-year absence from serious competition.

The team were, until their World Cup 63 triumph, famed for a 0-4 record in World Cup Final matches - a record that has since 'improved' to 2-7 - as well as for their distinctive claret, green and white striped shirts, controversial off-field personas and their defensive, 'Kontrapuntzeka' brand of counter-attacking football.

Cycles 4-11
The game of Association Football was brought to Audioslavian shores by Ariddian merchants and settlers in the late 19th century, and by the early 1920s the sport had become the national game. Reports of World Cup 2 from young journalist Jeremy Jaffacake captured the imagination of Audioslavians and the success of World Cup 3, the popularity of its limited radio coverage in Audioslavia, prompted the creation of the Football Federation of Audioslavia, one of the oldest still-functioning football associations in the multiverse.

The qualifying phase for World Cup 4 would see the Audioslavia national team take to the field for the first time in competitive play, and their debut would see the side win out 4-2 against an Enelando side long since consigned to the history books. A 3-0-3 record in qualifying was enough for Audioslavia to finish in fourth place in their group - enough to qualify in the last available qualification spot in their group.

The finals tournament would be an unmitigated success, with the side going 1-2-0 in the group stage and reaching the second round, where they would lose on penalties to neighbours Lemmitania.

Audioslavia would enter World Cup 5 ranked 11th in the world, but would suffer a string of shock defeats, including a famous 0-4 reversal on the opening day of qualifying to then-unranked Squornshelous, and fail to qualify for the tournament proper.

The team would come back to qualify for World Cup 6 where they would finish third in their first-round group, before going on to co-host World Cup 7 with Lemmitania. Throughout World Cups 8 to 11 the side would cement their place as a strong, if not world-beating international side, and during this time Audioslavia would weave their colours into the very fabric of international football. After a World Cup 8 qualifying campaign that saw the side progress in bizarre fashion - winning only three of ten games yet still topping the group - Audioslavia were involved in the famous Spaamgate fiasco of World Cup 9

Cycles 12-20
After a strong showing in World Cup 11, reaching the second round for the fourth time, Audioslavia went about proving they were capable of reaching the next level. In World Cup 12 they dispatched rivals Squornshelous, Commerce Heights and Europa Brittania on the way to their first ever World Cup Final, only to lose on penalties to Rejistania.

Six cycles of group-stage eliminations and second-round exits seemed to hint that their WC12 run had been a fluke, but after their World Cup 18 side reached a quarter-final for only the second time in the nation's history the side embarked on a run of final-appearances in World Cup 19 and 20, losing both to Atlantian Oceanian powerhouses Crystilakere and Vilita. The side, now 0-3 in World Cup Final matches, found themselves ranked #1 in the world without much to show for it other than a reputation as chokers.

Cycles 21-29
World Cups 21-24 would do little to quieten the detractors of Audioslavian football as the side failed to live up to the high expectations set for them, dropping out in the earlier stages of the tournament, and a successful second hosting of the tournament for World Cup 25, along with Kaze Progressa, yielded only another quarter-final defeat.

After three more cycles struggling to keep the pace in international football - yet maintaining an impressive record of consecutive qualifications that stretched back to World Cup 6 - Audioslavia finally reached the World Cup final again in the 29th cycle. They would lose again, this time to Casari, and would drop off the international scene completely soon afterwards after the Cherno-Bull Nuclear Disaster

Cycle 37
Jeremy Jaffacake assumed control of the FFA during the 36th World Cup and signed up the Audioslavian national team - which at the time didn't exist - to World Cup 37. The side, managed poorly by Jaffacake and unrecognisable from previous generations, were eliminated early in the qualifiers and were not entered into World Cup 38.

Cycles 59-62
Audioslavia made a shock return to the international stage by registering for World Cup 59, the accompanying Baptism of Fire tournament, and even AOCAF Cup 34 after having never previously been aligned with the Atlantian Oceania region. The side's progress on the grandest stage was modest, with low-to-mid-table finishes in the qualifiers for World Cups 59-62, but Audioslavia enjoyed huge success in minor tournaments, winning their Baptism of Fire tournament, winning two AOCAF Cup championships and reaching a further two finals, and reaching the last-four of a Cup of Harmony. Audioslavia had finally begun to win silverware over two centuries since their first attempt, but by the time World Cup 63 rolled around, the team had still yet to qualify for a modern-era World Cup.

Cycles 63-69
Audioslavia qualified for World Cup 63 - their first finals tournament since WC29 - in second place behind group-winners Polar Islandstates, and would go on to advance past the first round with a 1-2-0 record. Taeshan were then dispatched in extra-time in the second round before the side shocked the world by overcoming two favourites for the tournament - Polar Islandstates and The Babbage Islands - to reach the World Cup Final at their first attempt since returning. The side then made history by winning the World Cup, finally, with a famous 2-0 win over Starblaydia.

This Audioslavia side was quickly heralded as the greatest Audioslavia team of all time, and they would go on to confound expectations by winning another AOCAF Cup title and retaining their world championship in cycle 64, this time with victory over Andossa se Mitrin Vega in the final. Fans called it the 'double double' - an AOCAF Cup and World Cup win in two consecutive cycles.

World Cup 65 would prove a disappointment, as the side lost both regional and world titles with early eliminations from the tournament, but a World Cup 66 on home soil provided the impetus for the side to reach the last four, where they'd lose the first semi-final of their history.

Audioslavia reached the finals of both World Cup 67 and World Cup 69 and lost on both occasions, first to Polar Islandstates and then to The Holy Empire.

Cycles 70-78
Audioslavia continued to comfortably qualify for major tournaments throughout the seventies, but silverware continued to prove elusive. A small dip in form came before two fourth-placed finishes in cycles 74 and 75 (the latter on home turf), which preceded another losing final in World Cup 76, this time to Unified Sunrise Islands.

World Cup 76 would be the first with an Audioslavian in the president's chair at the World Cup Conmittee, with Jeremy Jaffacake somehow successful in the governing body's democratic elections. Jaffacake's three-cycle term would be cut to just two after allegations of corruption, and the resulting fall-out would see Audioslavia's football federation withdraw from World Cup 79 in embarrassment. The national football team, ranked inside the top 10 since cycle 64, would drop out to 40th in the KPB Rankings. They have not troubled the top ten since.

Cycles 80-Present
Audioslavia's national team failed to qualify for World Cup 80, losing a playoff in embarrassing fashion to Abanhfleft, and went into the Cup of Harmony where they would lose yet another final, this time to Mercedini. From World Cup 81 to the present, Audioslavia have qualified for every World Cup they have entered but have yet to progress beyond the second round. The side has remained between 14th and 24th in the KPB rankings since cycle 82.

Colours
The traditional colours of Audioslavia's national team are claret and green stripes with white pin-stripes - a distinctive combination that renders the team instantly recognisable. The home shirt has only veered from these parameters on two occasions: During World Cups 12-14 where their Spaamanian-made home shirts were plain claret with white and teal trim (the hue of the green in Audioslavia's flag used to fluctuate over time, depending on manufacturing costs), and a previous strip which featured just one solitary green stripe on a claret background. Audioslavia's original home colours, used only in World Cup 4, included black pin-stripes rather than white.

Kirola, a sportswear manufacturer based in Audioslavia, have provided the majority of Audioslavia's kits since cycle 61, with two exceptions being a brief foray with Krytenian manufacturer JMC and an extended stint with Starblaydi company ediraf.

The traditional colours of the national team's shorts and socks are traditionally plain white, occasionally with claret trim. Alternative colours include black or claret shorts and socks.

The colors of Audioslavia's away kits tend to vary, but traditionally consist of sky blue and white stripes with black pinstripes (controversially close in style to the home shirts of rivals Krytenia), usually with black shorts and socks. Other iterations of the away shirts have included all white or all black designs with claret and green trim, with a couple of outlandish attempts at mint green, dark blue, silver or pink.

Culture
Style The Audioslavia team traditionally plays a variation of a cautious 4-5-1 formation - more usually a 4-1-4-1. Full-backs are encouraged to join in on counter-attacks but to stay reasonably close to their position during possession play, whilst one midfielder will be tasked with staying back to protect the two centre-halves, who themselves only ever venture forward for set-pieces. The five-man midfield usually comprises of the defensive-minded holding midfielder and four attacking-minded playmakers/wingers, the latter given freedom to create thanks to the solid defence behind them. The striker tends not to be a traditional 'target man' and more often represents the modern 'trequartista' or 'false nine'.

It is traditional for an Audioslavia squad to list their first-team players as wearing numbers 1-11, but there are two other numbers to look out for in any Audioslavia squad.

The Twelfth Man
This phrase, often used to describe a team's supporters, in Audioslavia more usually refers to the player in the #12 shirt, traditionally given to the second-choice striker. While less prestigious than numbers nine and ten, there is a special 'something' about the number twelve shirt, and the emergence of Audioslavia's Twelfth Man from the bench usually draws an encouraging roar from the crowd.

The Fourteenth Man
The number fourteen is one given to a winger in Rugby Union, and the tradition for a #14 to be a wide-man has carried over to football. The number 14 in an Audioslavia squad will usually be an exciting left or right winger, usually rather young, arguably faster and more skilful than the first-teamer (wearing 7 or 11) that starts the game ahead of him, but without that player's tactical nous or all-round play. The appearance of Audioslavia's Fourteenth Man from the bench tends to draw a similar pop from the crowd.

Kontrapuntzeka
Audioslavia's general style of play is referred to as Kontrapuntzeka, or Counter-punch, and relies on quick breaks and short, fast, accurate and creative passing to tear opponents' defences apart on the counter. Audioslavian midfielders, usually rather small and lithe and chosen for their skills with the ball rather than their ability to win it from the opposition, tend to lose the midfield battle, but are famed for doing more with their 40% of possession than other midfields can do with 60%.