Martin Scallop

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Martin Scallop was a defender on the Zwangzug national football team in World Cup cycles 80, 82, and 83. Domestically, he played for Keppal Cosmos. He was the captain of the World Cup 83 team, and named to the "team of the qualifiers" for World Cup 80.

Scallop was a regular starter when the "third generation" team reconstituted for World Cup 80. He was not afraid to toot his own horn, recognizing that in media around the world, defenders often find it more difficult than attacking players to make headlines. He would go on to assert the "law of conservation of quantification"--that because there are more defenders than forwards on most teams, they more easily blend into a unit and have their contributions harder to distinguish. (Goalkeepers, being usually one to a team, form the "discontinuity corollary" to this law.) Despite, or perhaps because of, this self-awareness, he was one of two defenders named to the reserve all-star team among nations that did not qualify, alongside Jai Mauryan of The Sherpa Empire.

Zwangzug were absent from cycle 81, but Scallop and the team returned in cycle 82. In the following cycle, he was named captain, succeeding Kendra Jover. Despite concerns that the federation would be uncreative enough to nominate him as an all-star yet again, he was instead forced to deal with the talent and attitude problems of fellow defender Sydney Stefred. Zwangzug qualified for the proper, after which Scallop retired from international play, having scored five goals for the national team. He would continue to expound "Scallop's law" and its applications to the international transfer market.